This confidence game isn’t the same as the scam. This one applies to those who have been hunting with no results and are becoming discouraged. Rapidly.
Let’s go back to how most people search, because that’s where the problem – or problems – are. Your cover letter neglects to tie you to the ad and your resume fails to entice. Or perhaps your cover letter sells and your resume is full of accomplishments, but you’re answering unrealistic ads. Or perhaps you’re targeting ads wisely, but being overly picky, forgetting that ads tell if you want to interview, not if you want to work there.
Most people stick with the job boards, unwilling to do the work necessary for cold approaches and afraid of putting their ego on the line for follow ups. They’re fed up with trying to reach recruiters, generally because they’re doing it in an ineffective manner. Consequently, between the cover letter, the resume, and the search method, nothing much happens. Competition is stiff these days, and only one person reaches the finish line.
Frustration sets in. Discouragement piles up. The shoulders slump. The mouth isn’t smiling. And then the thoughts begin: “Why is no one hiring me?”, “I’ll never get a job!”, “Why doesn’t anyone respond to my resume?”
Discouragement breeds negative thoughts, which breed more discouragement, which breeds more negative thoughts, which are compounded by money worries, or how much you hate your job, or the lousy traffic, or the weather, or whatever. The worse it gets, the more it bleeds into everything else.
Then the phone rings, and someone wants to schedule you for an interview. After a moment of happiness, your discouragement from the lack of response translates into self doubt. If you’re so good, why didn’t all those other companies call you? You hope this one goes well, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it doesn’t.
And guess what happens? It doesn’t go well. Would you be surprised to know you created that outcome? Thoughts are energy, and they influence the results. If you’re thinking negatively, your body language will depict lack of confidence and joy, your tone of voice will be small and hesitant, and your sentences won’t come out with assurance. Instead of sitting up straight and asking discerning questions, you’ll be a less than stellar interview.
You don’t feel confident, so you don’t project confidence, thus you can’t sell yourself. Why would you get hired?
And an overwhelming percentage of the time, the discouragement that perpetuates these negative situations has nothing to do with your capability, skills, or marketability, and everything to do with things that can be changed, which then change the outcome, which then change your perception of yourself, which then brins about more positive results….and it spirals up, instead of down.
If nothing is happening, get help. Find out what the problem is. And in the meantime, be aware of what you’re telling yourself, because 90% of the time it isn’t you, it’s what you’re doing – or not doing. And you’re taking it personally. Contrary to what people think, job finding is a skill that can be improved, thus improving the outcome and your disposition.
One reason why prep and homework are so important is because you remember the contributions you’ve made to your previous employers. This helps to bolster your self confidence, diffusing the uncertainty and fear. When you’re consciously reminding yourself of what you can bring to the table, you think, “I’m good! Someone is going to see that sooner or later, and they’ll get a great employee!” And that’s what comes across instead.
Stay aware of what you’re thinking. Stay aware of what’s taking place with your demeanor. And if you find it going downhill, find a way to boost yourself back up. Because if you don’t, all you do is perpetuate the problem.
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