This confidence game isn’t the same as the scam. This one applies to those who have been hunting with no results and are becoming discouraged. Rapidly.
Let’s go back to how most people search, because that’s where the problem – or problems – are. Your cover letter neglects to tie you to the ad and your resume fails to entice. Or perhaps your cover letter sells and your resume is full of accomplishments, but you’re answering unrealistic ads. Or perhaps you’re targeting ads wisely, but being overly picky, forgetting that ads tell if you want to interview, not if you want to work there.
Most people stick with the job boards, unwilling to do the work necessary for cold approaches and afraid of putting their ego on the line for follow ups. They’re fed up with trying to reach recruiters, generally because they’re doing it in an ineffective manner. Consequently, between the cover letter, the resume, and the search method, nothing much happens. Competition is stiff these days, and only one person reaches the finish line.
Frustration sets in. Discouragement piles up. The shoulders slump. The mouth isn’t smiling. And then the thoughts begin: “Why is no one hiring me?”, “I’ll never get a job!”, “Why doesn’t anyone respond to my resume?”
Discouragement breeds negative thoughts, which breed more discouragement, which breeds more negative thoughts, which are compounded by money worries, or how much you hate your job, or the lousy traffic, or the weather, or whatever. The worse it gets, the more it bleeds into everything else.
Then the phone rings, and someone wants to schedule you for an interview. After a moment of happiness, your discouragement from the lack of response translates into self doubt. If you’re so good, why didn’t all those other companies call you? You hope this one goes well, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it doesn’t.
And guess what happens? It doesn’t go well. Would you be surprised to know you created that outcome? Thoughts are energy, and they influence the results. If you’re thinking negatively, your body language will depict lack of confidence and joy, your tone of voice will be small and hesitant, and your sentences won’t come out with assurance. Instead of sitting up straight and asking discerning questions, you’ll be a less than stellar interview.
You don’t feel confident, so you don’t project confidence, thus you can’t sell yourself. Why would you get hired?
And an overwhelming percentage of the time, the discouragement that perpetuates these negative situations has nothing to do with your capability, skills, or marketability, and everything to do with things that can be changed, which then change the outcome, which then change your perception of yourself, which then brins about more positive results….and it spirals up, instead of down.
If nothing is happening, get help. Find out what the problem is. And in the meantime, be aware of what you’re telling yourself, because 90% of the time it isn’t you, it’s what you’re doing – or not doing. And you’re taking it personally. Contrary to what people think, job finding is a skill that can be improved, thus improving the outcome and your disposition.
One reason why prep and homework are so important is because you remember the contributions you’ve made to your previous employers. This helps to bolster your self confidence, diffusing the uncertainty and fear. When you’re consciously reminding yourself of what you can bring to the table, you think, “I’m good! Someone is going to see that sooner or later, and they’ll get a great employee!” And that’s what comes across instead.
Stay aware of what you’re thinking. Stay aware of what’s taking place with your demeanor. And if you find it going downhill, find a way to boost yourself back up. Because if you don’t, all you do is perpetuate the problem.
As a job candidate you need to make sure that no one is sending your resume to a company without your permission! That means your recruiter needs to tell you the name of the company that they want to send your resume to.
Three good reasons are:
- Has your resume been submitted to ABC Company within the past year?
- Do you have any issues with ABC Company?
- Would you be interested in this job description with ABC Company?
Some recruiters have relationships with hiring managers who are always looking for top talent regardless to whether they have an open position or not. This too needs to be explained to you up front before the recruiter sends your resume. This is what we call “clearing the candidate”.
I can’t get over the fact that recruiters, I use the term recruiters “loosely”, still send resumes without clearing their candidates. An ethical recruiter clears their candidates every time. The problem is that certain recruiters have weak relationships all around and they are simply trying to make something happen for themselves, but what ends up happening is the job candidate gets hurt. If your resume makes it to the same place by two different recruiters then it will become a problem for you. Two recruiters, same job, both recruiters say that they are working with you. Icarumba! You see the company is going to need to get to the bottom of this to determine who gets the credit if you happen to get the job. You might not even get that far. The last thing a company wants is a fight over who is really the one working with you on this job. It creates a negative reaction from all parties and starts you off on the wrong foot regardless to what you may think.
Today, more than ever before, you need to protect your resume. There are people out there that if they were to get a hold of your resume would send it all over the place. Some recruiters will ask their job candidates if its OK to send their resume to some of their contacts and most job candidates think “sure, why not”. The problem is that you are going to get burned by this tactic. You should never allow anyone cart-blanche with your resume.
Another excuse that I hear from recruiters is that they could not get in touch with the job candidate so for the sake of time they submitted the resume. Listen, we all understand that in the contingency market it can be a race to submit a resume but when you cannot clear a job candidate then that’s just too bad. You the recruiter have no right to hurt this job candidate’s opportunities.
Some recruiters will send a resume to a company to try to get a job order. This happens a lot and they could be using your resume to do it. Did you ever get this phone call before? “Hey I got great news! ABC Company wants to interview you. I would be like “great news who said you can send my resume there”? Some recruiters will send a resume to test the waters to see if this is the type of candidate they are looking for based on a job description. I don’t have a problem with that as long as they remove the job candidates’ name, address, phone number, email address and the names of prior companies that the job candidate worked for. This allows your client to see the talent and to tell you that they would be interested in meeting this candidate, however, you have NO claims to this candidate with your client if your candidate has already been submitted. What we would do in this scenario would be to notify the contact at the company and to tell them that the candidate told us that their resume has already been submitted.
This approach of always doing what is best for our clients and our candidates seems to work well for us!
Everyone who’s been fired raise their hand. If your hand is up, (and mine is), we’re in good company. I’m unable to find statistics, but in 25 years of working with candidates, my conservative guess is fifty percent of all people within the workforce have been fired or laid off at some point. Despite this, most job seekers end up on the defensive, afraid of how it will reflect on them come interview time.
And most terminations aren’t because of documentable inappropriate behavior, which leaves a large number of people feeling responsible for an event that wasn’t necessarily their fault.
Here are three real-life examples and how to handle each if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.
INSTANCE #1: One person had a thirty-day review with four members of the company which, it seemed to me, was simply a reason to go through the motion of documentation and procedure prior to the alleged reason for the review. I could tell by what the company said during the review, that the individual hadn’t had a chance. Two weeks later the person was fired over a very petty incident. The reason given was that the person hadn’t made the changes advised in the review.
What to make of it: My assessment is that someone had it in for this person. Examine your relationships with your peers and supervisors, as well as the relationships of the people with whom you work. Were any of them tense? Was there any competitiveness within your department? Did you find yourself constantly justifying yourself to any particular supervisor? Were there any recent management changes?
How to handle it: When you’re asked, “Why did you leave your last job?” say: “I was fired, but I’m not sure why. I’d been at the company for three years, and my reviews had been good. Suddenly, I had a thirty-day review that seemed, in retrospect, to be just formality for what was to come. Two weeks later I was fired for (name petty reason). I believe there was an agenda of which I wasn’t aware.” Say it matter of factly, not defensively, and add nothing negative about your employer. But you need the supporting information of long-term employment with favorable reviews – if it’s true – to spin it in your favor. Otherwise, it can be inferred that the problem was you, not your employer.
INSTANCE #2: An employee was fired for refusing to do something unethical.
What to make of it: Whether the person knew it or not, the request was both a test and an ultimatum. Whatever that instance was indicative of, you can bet there was more of it present.
How to handle it: Straightforwardly. “I was terminated for refusing to do something unethical.” If you’re asked for specifics, simply say you’re not comfortable disclosing that information. The interviewer should respect you for not saying what they were. The specifics aren’t the hiring company’s business, and they shouldn’t ask you for them. Additionally, you don’t need to spill the story to justify your statement.
If you’re not asked back, don’t waste your time wondering why, and don’t take it personally. The company you want is the one that respects you for not telling stories and likes that you stuck to your ethical guns. They’re the ones that will want you back. That’s the kind of place you want to work.
Part 2 March 2nd: My termination!
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The only thing that might be more difficult to deal with than an interviewer who asks tough, probing questions is an interviewer who hasn’t a clue how to interview. You leave the interview feeling as if you ignited no interest, bombed the interview, and surely won’t be asked back. Where was the scintillating conversation? The professional give and take about the industry and your skills?
But if you’ve just met the person, how are you to know if they’re a lousy interviewer – or you’re a lousy interview? If you prepared for the interview, then you’ve an indication where the problem lies, because your preparation enables you to jump in and take control of those awkward moments.
I speak often about the importance of an interview being a two-way street. This not only means that you need to be interviewing the company as they are you, but that the company needs to sell themselves to you, as you are selling yourself to them. If the interviewer doesn’t have those sales skills, you need elicit the information.
More than that, if the interviewer doesn’t know how to ask questions to dig deeper into your capabilities and interest, you’ll need to tell him, lest the entire interview go by and you haven’t uttered a word. If that happens, the only thing still able to speak for you is your resume, leaving you no closer to being hired than you were when you walked through the door.
Interviewers who ramble on and on ad nauseum about the company need to be re-directed before you begin snoring. Interviewers who don’t have the ability to speak about the company or the position should be prompted with your questions. Interviewers who are unprepared, or perhaps even forgot about their appointment with you, must be briefed –by you — on your background, because they probably don’t remember your resume.
Lots of holes and awkward pauses in the conversation? If the interviewer doesn’t have the sense (or ability) to ask you what your skills are or why you’d be a great choice for the company, speak up and tell him. Toot your own horn. “I’d like to tell you about the time I put a winning proposal together under a stiff deadline, since the job we’re speaking of is also very deadline oriented.” That doesn’t mean talk non-stop, but it does mean don’t sit there and be uncomfortably silent for long periods of time.
Jump right in with the questions you came prepared to ask. What are the priorities that need to be addressed immediately? What’s a typical day like? How long has the interviewer been with the company? Why does he stay?
Don’t spend time thinking about how you wish he’d ask you a question. Don’t daydream or think about your grocery list. Listen closely to what the interviewer is saying. When he pauses for a breath or there’s a gap in the conversation, insert one of your finest sales points that relates to what he’s been saying. If he’s a non-stop talker, you’ll need to be alert for the spots in which you can take control. There may be only a few of them.
Other interviewers may ask questions, but stupid and unimaginative ones. “I see you worked at The Snappy Scissors Company. How did you like working there?” (“Um, I hated it. That’s why I left. Duh.”) Answer with what you learned while you were there, and remember not to disparage any previous employers. Resist rolling your eyes if they go through your entire resume this way or if you’re asked a Barbara Walters question: “If you were a tree, what type of tree would you be?”
Sometimes getting a bit of movement in helps. Ask for a tour of the building or offices. A tour provides focal points for questions and an opportunity for words related to why you’re there. Ask about the decision making time frame and if there are any other steps involved.
If you’re left without a clue as to how it went, or you rarely had an opportunity to open your mouth, ask if you can set up an interview with any others in the department or your interviewer’s boss or other decision makers in the company. Perhaps they’ll be a better interviewer!
Be patient with these inept people. Smile, and maintain enthusiasm. Whatever their interviewing skills – or lack thereof — it’s possible they’ve had very limited interviewing experience. Speaking up and taking control of the interview may be the only thing that not only gives you the information you need, but saves the interview from being a total bomb.
They may be a bad interviewer, but they’re the ones that make the hiring decision. You can’t make a choice to accept an offer if you haven’t been given that choice.
Your length of your search is the sum of the parts – if it’s dragging on, the problem is you and your lack of job search skills
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If you’ve ever been in a bad job situation, you have no desire to repeat it. And that’s understandable. However, you don’t want to ever, ever—and I mean NEVER—discuss it in an interview.
Think of it this way—when you’re on a first date with someone, do you want to hear about their past failed relationships? It’s irrelevant whether they were at fault or not. You don’t know enough about someone on a first date to assess who they are as a person and trust them.
It’s the same in an interview. Recently I heard an example of someone who had had several interviews with a major department store. Things seemed to be going very well. They liked him, he liked them. But he let his guard down and felt compelled to discuss a bad experience he had had at another employer. It probably didn’t help that the other employer was part of the same parent company of department stores.
I don’t know why he let the conversation go there, but in some cases it could be his own bravado, or desire to confide in who he thinks are future friends. Either way, it’s a bad move. It’s assuming a level of trust that isn’t there.
Everyone can relate to the feeling though, and that’s why it’s such a dangerous trap. It’s the gossip feeling. The rush when we divulge information that we know we probably shouldn’t and that the information we’re imparting will increase our standing in the interviewer’s eyes. It won’t.
Many of you will read this and think—well DUH! I’d NEVER do that—but it’s easier than you think. No matter how well you’re getting along with the interviewers, no matter how much you want to establish rapport and have them see you as a fit with the company. No matter how much you want them to like you—don’t talk about past jobs in an unfavorable light.
If you must talk about where you used to work, admit responsibility for whatever happened, and what you learned from the situation and move on. Never pin all of the blame on a former employer.
