This confidence game isn’t the same as the scam. This one applies to those who have been hunting with no results and are becoming discouraged. Rapidly.
Let’s go back to how most people search, because that’s where the problem – or problems – are. Your cover letter neglects to tie you to the ad and your resume fails to entice. Or perhaps your cover letter sells and your resume is full of accomplishments, but you’re answering unrealistic ads. Or perhaps you’re targeting ads wisely, but being overly picky, forgetting that ads tell if you want to interview, not if you want to work there.
Most people stick with the job boards, unwilling to do the work necessary for cold approaches and afraid of putting their ego on the line for follow ups. They’re fed up with trying to reach recruiters, generally because they’re doing it in an ineffective manner. Consequently, between the cover letter, the resume, and the search method, nothing much happens. Competition is stiff these days, and only one person reaches the finish line.
Frustration sets in. Discouragement piles up. The shoulders slump. The mouth isn’t smiling. And then the thoughts begin: “Why is no one hiring me?”, “I’ll never get a job!”, “Why doesn’t anyone respond to my resume?”
Discouragement breeds negative thoughts, which breed more discouragement, which breeds more negative thoughts, which are compounded by money worries, or how much you hate your job, or the lousy traffic, or the weather, or whatever. The worse it gets, the more it bleeds into everything else.
Then the phone rings, and someone wants to schedule you for an interview. After a moment of happiness, your discouragement from the lack of response translates into self doubt. If you’re so good, why didn’t all those other companies call you? You hope this one goes well, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it doesn’t.
And guess what happens? It doesn’t go well. Would you be surprised to know you created that outcome? Thoughts are energy, and they influence the results. If you’re thinking negatively, your body language will depict lack of confidence and joy, your tone of voice will be small and hesitant, and your sentences won’t come out with assurance. Instead of sitting up straight and asking discerning questions, you’ll be a less than stellar interview.
You don’t feel confident, so you don’t project confidence, thus you can’t sell yourself. Why would you get hired?
And an overwhelming percentage of the time, the discouragement that perpetuates these negative situations has nothing to do with your capability, skills, or marketability, and everything to do with things that can be changed, which then change the outcome, which then change your perception of yourself, which then brins about more positive results….and it spirals up, instead of down.
If nothing is happening, get help. Find out what the problem is. And in the meantime, be aware of what you’re telling yourself, because 90% of the time it isn’t you, it’s what you’re doing – or not doing. And you’re taking it personally. Contrary to what people think, job finding is a skill that can be improved, thus improving the outcome and your disposition.
One reason why prep and homework are so important is because you remember the contributions you’ve made to your previous employers. This helps to bolster your self confidence, diffusing the uncertainty and fear. When you’re consciously reminding yourself of what you can bring to the table, you think, “I’m good! Someone is going to see that sooner or later, and they’ll get a great employee!” And that’s what comes across instead.
Stay aware of what you’re thinking. Stay aware of what’s taking place with your demeanor. And if you find it going downhill, find a way to boost yourself back up. Because if you don’t, all you do is perpetuate the problem.
While in transition, you’re after a paid job, not working for free. It’s natural to feel that way, but in fact volunteering could be the thing that gets you your next position. It’s happened often to job seekers. Volunteering has many rewarding facets, and most of them remain hidden till you uncover them by performing volunteer activities. Abby Kohut, president of Staffing Symphony LLC, recommends that 20 percent of a job seeker’s time be spent on volunteering.
Volunteering is a benevolent activity that could be extremely rewarding, especially for those in transition who need to hear a thank-you once in a while. Helping others is inherently enriching and satisfying. Providing assistance for others and lending a hand to people in need certainly qualify as good deeds. And when you give, you also get.
In general, people are open to the idea of volunteering but usually don’t take steps to initiate it because of the unknown and because they don’t know how to go about finding a suitable spot. Two decisions have to be made toward that end: First is to decide what type of volunteering interests you. Second is to decide where to find it. My advice is to search the Internet for the words finding volunteering opportunities. From there you’ll be guided to settling on your decisions.
Since volunteering is unpaid, your commitment can be short- or long-term. Make sure that during involvement in volunteer activities you take advantage of the opportunity to get acquainted with other people. Volunteering makes for an excellent occasion to network with people who appreciate your commitment to volunteer. Such people will listen to you and likely want to reciprocate. Make the most of it.
I momentarily thought about titling this article “Constructing Your Elevator Speech”, but I’ve heard that term so many times I could just scream. What everyone really wants to know is what to say to people at parties when they’re asked what kinds of positions they’re looking for.
First and foremost, you want it to always be casual. It should never feel too rehearsed, and the person you’re talking to should never get that frightened look in their eye that you’re trying to sell them a used car. You want to have an idea of how to talk about your experience in an interesting, and honestly, an entertaining way that will make you memorable to the listener and make them more open to helping you. This should NEVER feel like a hard-sell-begging-for-a-lead situation.
Second, you want to take a look at the types of things that you enjoy doing in your current—or even some prior jobs. What skills were you happiest doing? Management? Organization? Working with People? Working with Numbers? Solving Complex Problems? Think of it in some broad strokes rather than getting too narrow by mentioning specific positions. Paint a picture for someone of what you’re like to work with so they can envision you at work. All of us remember images better than words, so try to create an image in their mind of the things you do—even specifically. You can talk about some past accomplishments—maybe it’s a large project that you worked on, an account that you won, a difficult computer programming challenge that you figured out. Tell people what you do, and what fields you’re shooting for.
Another way to think about this is to approach it from the “what kinds of problems do you solve?” angle to help you think about some good examples to talk about.
Third, think about the industries you’re interested in. This should further paint a picture in the mind of your listener. It’s appropriate to even do some namedropping of companies that you’re trying to get into with the thought that they may know someone there like a relative or close friend who could help you.
What you don’t want to do is mention everything that you can possibly do in a job. You’re not reading your resume, you’re simply giving a brief—and I mean 30 seconds-brief—snapshot of the position you aspire to. Just the highlights.
Here’s an example:
“I’ve decided it’s time for me to look for a new job. I’ve gotten about as far as I can with this company and it’s time for me to move on. I’m looking for the opportunity to do less direct customer contact, and the ability to use all of the customer information I’ve learned over the years to help companies design new products, or even go into market research. My background is in Marketing, and I’ve got a head full of ideas about how people think and what kinds of questions they ask themselves before making a decision and why they decide on the product they do. I’ve thought about working for Diagio—that liquor manufacturer, or even Neilsen media research in their market research field. I’m known around the office as the “go to” person who can handle a variety of problems without getting ruffled—my current company will really miss me when I leave.”
Notice how I told a little story about why I was looking for the position I was looking for, what my background was in, and what companies I had thought about working for. Also dropped the subtle hint that I’m known as a Jack-of-all-trades around the office to give them a bit of a unique picture that everyone could relate to.
With the job market as tight as it is, it’s easy to be a lot less discriminating when evaluating bosses during your interview. But, keep in mind that you spend WAY more time at a job than with your loved ones—so you really need to love the job to make it work (in a manner of speaking).
Studies have shown that the number one reason why people start to look for a job is because their boss is driving them crazy. But how can you tell if the person you’re supposed to be establishing this great rapport with in the interview is a potential disaster? Here’s what I’ve learned in my career and from coaching others.
My biggest issue is avoiding the Micromanager! I hate micromanagers. I could not be paid enough to work for one, and I’m very honest with myself, and future employers, about it. Truth be told, I have survived 2 of them in my career, and was able to successfully extract them from my backside while keeping my job.
With that being said, if I was to interview for a job today, I would make sure that I brought up the topic of managerial style with the hiring manager. This can be a sticky subject, but I’d broach it during the interview (probably the 2nd interview) by asking them to describe their managerial style is, and no matter what they said, I’d tell them that I do not do my best work when I’m working for a micromanager. If they didn’t describe themselves as a micromanager, then they’ll be happy that you’re on the same page, if they did—well as you read in my example above—they can be reformed, but still need to appreciate your style. I’d then mention that I have more of an entrepreneurial mindset, and one of my former bosses (and a reference) described me as very resourceful. I would go on to say that I completely understand that while I learned the job, we’d be working together closely, but once I’d been there from 3-6 months, I would expect that I’d be up to speed on a number of things and could work independently. Additionally, I’d say something like—I like to run the ball down the field, but am conscious of needing to provide you with status reports, and will always come back to you for advice when I need it so you won’t be left in the dark. For the 2 bosses I had who were micromanagers, this would have worked well for them. Over the course of my working there, they learned to trust me and my instincts, and left me alone, knowing that I’d approach them for help when needed.
However, there’s the more insipid micromanager who simply cannot be eluded—and that’s the kind you’re hoping to avoid by making the above declaration. By clearly articulating what helps you do your best work, you’re just being honest and fair with them. No manager wants to hire someone who won’t do their best work for them, and whom they’ll end up firing or leaving, because you don’t get along. Being honest with yourself and them (politely) will help to ensure that the job is a good fit for you.
